Halfway Through Chemo!!

My fourth treatment was not as harsh as the last two, however, it was/is still rough in its own way.  I'm glad I took steps to get IV fluids the two days after treatment.  That helped a lot with the dehydration and diarrhea.  Each time I took fluids it was a two hour process, but worth it in the end.  I think the  steroid pills helped as well.

Now I am only dealing with a little nausea, indigestion and constipation.  I'm still not drinking well, but I hope that feeling comes back soon before dehydration sets in.  I was able to get out and watch Aden play soccer on Saturday which in the past would not have been possible.  Still tired but not sleeping all day.  If I can get some relief today in some of these issues, then I think the beginning of the week will be great!  Which would be good timing since the kids do not have school tomorrow.  I hope to have some energy for them.  They have been real troopers through the rough times.

This fourth treatment was the last of the first drug.  I can't remember what the medical name of it is, but the nurses called it A/C.  The remaining four treatments will be with a drug called Taxol.  Supposedly, nausea is not a side effect!!  Please be true!!!!

Tuesday, I go in for an ultrasound to have my tumors measured to see if the first drug did anything with shrinking the sizes.  It's more for the doctor's knowledge because it will not change the outcome of my next steps.  They just want to know if that drug effected the tumors in any way.

Next treatment is scheduled for October 3rd.  Oh, the stubble on my head is almost gone.  It is quickly falling out with each shower.  I have a shiny head now.  :)

Fourth Treatment

Going into treatment was not easy.  All the thoughts and smells came back and I was feeling nauseous.  I met with a different doctor since my primary doctor was on vacation.  That was a little weird for me but I managed.  After talking about all the nausea I have been experiencing, he prescribed my some steroid pills to help curb the nausea.  I hope it helps!  I have tried three different kinds of nausea pills and neither are working like I would like.  So hopefully the steroids will do the trick.

I'm also being proactive in that when I go in for my Nuelasta shot, I will also get some IV fluids.  Then I will also go in on Friday for fluids as well.  Since I do not drink much during the bad times, I am hoping the IV fluids will keep me from becoming dehydrated and from being bed ridden all weekend.  We will see!!!

So far today, Thursday, is good.  My stomach is churning and I feel a little nauseous, but all in all I am handling it very well.

I am still very saddened for my co-worker and her family in the loss of their very young son.  Services are being held on Friday, so I ask that you put them in your prayers during this awful time.  Lord wrap you arms around them and give them comfort.

Give your child(ren) a huge hug tonight and be blessed in their health.

Big Hugs to you all.

Preparing for Fourth Treatment

My apologies for the lack of posts this past week.  I have been feeling really good since last Thursday.  When I am feeling good, it gives me time to catch up on things that I couldn't do when I was feeling sick, so posting gets pushed down the priority list.

Today is my fourth treatment and I am trying to go into it with a positive attitude.  I am scared that it will be worse than the last ones since the drug is cumulative.  I'm trying to drink lots of water to get a leg up on the dehydration.  I have tried three different nausea medications and they are not working well.  I hope they have some other options.




I am asking for prayers for a co-worker and her family.  The two-year-old boy who died from E.coli in Howard County is the son of my co-worker.  My company and I are very saddened for this young family.  We are hurting deeply for them.  Please, please, please lift them up in your prayers during this extremely difficult time.

Love to you all

Thoughtful Email

I'm not exactly sure what is keeping me awake this morning.  I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and tossed and turned until 5:30 a.m., so I got up to eat a piece of toast and drink some water...still can't seem to down a glass of water like I normally could.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, so I thought I would check emails.

I received a message from a friend from church wanting to offer up some encouragement to me, but found herself sharing her story of suffering.  She shared with me that her mother went through chemo and radiation last year from her breast cancer diagnosis and that her father passed away just recently.  Basically, she was apologizing for not reaching out to provide support to me.  I thanked her for sharing her story with me.  I'm not exactly sure how to say this...but it was comforting/helpful to hear how hard chemo was for her mother.  I knew that wasn't going to come out right.  Not specifically her mother, but others in general who must go through chemo.  It is not easy by any means and I have been trying to share as much of those difficulties as possible with you, but I know I leave a lot out especially how it affects John.  People hear about the start of chemo and how rough it is and then how people have triumphed through it. Unless you have experienced it personally or through someone very close, it is just hard to grasp.

I guess I am saying all of this because I have been depressed through this last treatment and I think I have realized it is because I have set some expectations on myself.  I have been receiving positive and conquering stories of chemo of how people have been strong through it and could go on with their normal lives through it.  I know people mean well when they share these stories, however, at this point in time, these stories make me feel like I am not living up to that standard.  I should be stronger than this, I should be able to go to work through this.  I know I'm not supposed to compare nor "should" on myself, but it happens whether I want it to or not.  I just need to get out of it as quickly as possible so that I can move on.  By the way, it's much easier to do this when I am not feeling so sick.

Anyway, I appreciated receiving this email this morning.  It help put things into perspective for me.  Sometimes we can get lost in our own issues and forget that others are suffering too.  So, I have one ask of you...stop for a moment; think of someone who is in pain, struggling or suffering; and then email, text, call to let them know that you are thinking of them.  Those few words mean a lot.  You just have to trust me on this one.  :)

Hugs!!

70%

I'm somewhat back...

It has been a horrible weekend for me.  I told you that they gave me more nausea medicine with my treatment, well, it didn't help so well.  I have been nauseous since last Thursday.  I don't want to eat or drink or take my nausea pills because I feel nauseous just thinking about it.

Because of all of this, I have been weak and lethargic.  Yesterday, I thought, maybe I just need to go for a walk and get some Vitamin D from the sun.  Well, I could only walk for 10 minutes and was drained and shaky afterward.  Then I thought I must be dehydrated and called my doctor.  They had me come in and get some IV fluids for a couple of hours and it has helped some.

While I was there they decided to prescribe me another nausea medication.  It was filled while I was there and they told me to go ahead and take one.  It's one that melts on the tongue and the taste is masked with a cherry flavor...I am feeling nauseous right now talking about it.  Well it only lasted a few moments and then I threw it up.  I never thought I would throw up while in the chemo room, but it happened.  Couldn't stop it.  They still want me to take that pill but I just can't.  I can't imagine that it won't happen again.  Wish they gave refunds on prescriptions!

Today has been a little better.  I'm not 100%, maybe 70%.  I still tire easily and it is hard for me to drink water.  It just doesn't taste good.  I was feeling really nauseous just before John came home for lunch, but I was able to eat...I ate a whole McDouble and a few fries!  For some reason, I have a craving for meat during my recovery times.  Red meat is even better!!

I'm hoping I do not have any setbacks and will continue to get stronger.  Love to all and thank you for your thoughts and prayers through this!

Third Treatment

Today is the day of my third treatment and I have been dreading it.  My stomach turns just thinking about it.  Actually, I am depressed about it.  I just start to feel better and normal, then back to this.

I visited with my doctor before treatment and let him know about my nausea and he is using a different nausea drug with treatment this time.  Hopefully, this one will be more effective.

I don't have anything else to say...wish it was positive.

Catch Up Time

I apologize for the long delay between posts.  I know many of you have been wondering how I am doing.

What I thought was allergies or a cold last week turned out to be a sinus infection.  I was miserable Monday through Thursday.  That Monday while I was at my appointment, they checked my blood count and all was okay, but they told me to call if I didn't start feeling better.  Well, Tuesday night I was chilling and slept with long pants, a sweatshirt and a fleece hat.  I had a temperature of 99 but felt like 102.  Wednesday I called my doctor, and he prescribed me antibiotics.  They started kicking in on Thursday, so by Friday I had a whole lot more energy.  The trip to Chicago was normal.  No unexpected issues.  The rest of the weekend was GREAT!  Thank you all for all of your prayers!!

It was wonderful to spend time with John's family.  I had plenty of energy for the whole weekend.  I even went to Six Flags Great America while up there and closed the place down!  I rode a few roller coasters and other rides...I felt very normal except every once and a while, I would remember that I was bald wearing a ball cap and felt like people in line were staring at me.  It only happened a few times, so I got over it quickly.

On most of the rides, I had to take my hat off so that it didn't blow away.  You know when they take your picture at a certain point during the ride, well all of my photos showed me bald.  I didn't purchase any of those pictures and I probably should have for memory sake.  There was one roller coaster that I rode at the end of the night where I didn't have a partner, and there was this boy about the age of 11 or 12 who was waiting in line just in front of me.  He was asking me questions about the ride since he hadn't ridden it yet and was a little scared.  We ended up riding together and I warned him that when he sees the picture afterward, he would be sitting next to a bald woman.  He didn't seem phased.

Well, I decided not to go back to work this week.  Being sick most of last week, I felt I needed more normal time.  Also, I have a treatment tomorrow and would be out at the end of the week anyway.  I plan to return next week...probably.

I don't have too much more to say...I just wanted to update you on how I was feeling.  Prayers needed for the rest of this week!!

Love to all