It's summer, it's hot and the boys want to swim. What does that mean...swimsuit shopping.
Pre-cancer
For many years it has not been a fun venture finding that perfect bathing suit like it was in my early 20s when I had a very active metabolism. Trying on a bathing suit for me always brought about guilt and disgust with myself for not taking care of my body. I would sabotage fun at the pool with my boys by either not going at all or once I got there I didn't want to get up and into the pool for fear of people staring at me. Insecurity at its highest!
Post-cancer
A few days ago, I took my husband with me to find something since ultimately he is the one I am more concerned about how I look. We went to several stores and I never gave up because I knew I needed something for the holiday weekend. A few times John would ask if I was okay, knowing how prior years brought on depression. He is such a wonderful man! I told him that I was fine. I have accepted how I look (for now) and don't want it to keep me from having fun. He was a little stunned and taken aback. He said this was a totally different experience for him. I took that as a compliment.
It was difficult trying to find something that didn't over-emphasize my misshapen breast or irritate the radiated skin, but we did! I look forward to my time at the pool with my boys. I will have to let you know if the confidence sticks once I get there. :)
Next summer will be different with my new boobs!!!
Have a wonderful holiday weekend.
Christina,
ReplyDeleteYou are a truly awesome person and cancer SURVIVOR. Just want you to know how much I admire you, care about you, and pray for you. Even though I don't find a phone number for you, I think of you often and I'm just awed about how strong you are. Continued prayers for all of you. Love you lots and remember you are admired and loved by many.
Hi there Christina! I was actually just checking out a few of your posts and had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance -emilywalsh688 (at) gmail.com- Thanks : )
ReplyDeleteEmmy